Actually, that’s not quite true. Let me rephrase: I am really fucking unhappy right now.
The last week has been absolutely miserable for me for many
reasons, a couple of which I will talk about and a couple that I simply can’t
put in this blog. I value things that I’ve
worked hard for and wouldn’t want to destroy them with a few frustrated
words. If you want gossip, get a People
magazine. If you want the hard truth
about being a foreigner and having an absolutely terrible time trying to chase
his dream in Europe, then I’ve got just the post for you.
Before I begin, let me say for full disclosure that I did
not get into the last game, a 0-0 draw with Jaro. It was a game we honestly needed to win and
certainly should have won. Jaro got a
red card with about 20 minutes or so left and after that they didn’t even
attempt to attack. Once the red card
happened we needed to have a sense of urgency to win the game, but also
remember to work for good chances. We
did neither. I just wanted to mention
that I didn’t play last night so if you want to think that what I’ll say going
forward is just sour grapes, then you have every right to believe what you want.
Let me also say that I have no interest in attacking any
players on this blog. I generally like
this team, though not half as much as I liked the guys on my team in
Sweden. Part of that is that I was with
the Swedish team on a preseason trip to Turkey.
I got a chance to really start to bond with some players in Turkey who
otherwise I would never have spoken to outside of trainings. Here, I don’t speak with over half the
players beyond a simple, “Moi” when I arrive.
That’s not to say that those guys are bad people; hell, if anything it
means that I haven’t made enough effort to reach out to everybody. But when you’re in a situation like that, it
makes the shitty times shittier and the good times not so good.
Anyway in our last match we played Obi and Jonne as our
starting wingers (I might do a “Meet FC Haka” sticky page like I did for ESK,
but that took a long time to do. I dunno
if I want to do another one.). I really
like Obi and Jonne. No one on this team
understands my style or plays with me more comfortably than Obi. Jonne has proven himself to be a very
important attacking player in our team and he deserves to start every game. They both are also really nice to me and all-around
great guys. I wish my teammates nothing
but the best. But Obi and Jonne are
strikers. They live to score goals. They are both good at creating goals, but from
the position of the middle of the field, not the sides. As a result, our team played against Jaro
with very little width. That was ok,
because we pretty much lined up to play that way. It wasn’t necessarily the plan, but we all
knew that Obi and Jonne would drift to the middle and we encouraged it. I have no problem with Obi and Jonne (or
Claudio or Juha Pirinen) starting, that’s not my problem. I’ll get to that in a bit.
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| Before that though honestly...how adorable is my niece? If you don't think this is the cutest thing ever, then go jump off a bridge because you are incapable of feeling. |
Like I mentioned earlier, Jaro got a red card late on and
essentially decided to bunker in and play for a draw. For the next 10 minutes, I watched as we
pushed wave after wave of attack in the same style: We’d get the ball to the fullback or
defensive midfielder, and he’d play a deep ball into the box. Now, both of Jaro’s center backs are about 6’
3”, 210lbs. These guys aren’t gonna be
beat by a 40-50 yards cross. In fact, we
were probably just adding time to their highlight tapes by playing those balls
that they powered out of the box almost every time. And that leads to my problem.
If I have any role on this team, it’s to stretch
defenses. I’m not on the team for my
passing ability. I’m not on the team for
my amazing touch on the ball. I’m not on
the team for my defending. I’m not on
the team for my good looks (though honestly, that should be enough for a
contractJ). My point is that I’m on this team for a very
specific purpose. Specific enough that I
understand (even if I’m not happy) if I don’t play every game. If ever a defense needed to be stretched, it
was last night against Jaro. They were
effectively playing 5-4-0 for the last ten minutes of the match. Yet the tendency of our team was to play
through the middle all the time. In my
humble opinion, if I had been given 5-10 minutes, I could have caused Jaro
problems by getting all the way wide and putting pressure on Jaro to defend the
wide areas behind their defense. Even if
I didn’t put in the killer cross to win the game, a few runs from me behind
would make the Jaro defenders wary and possibly open up the gaps in the middle
we were looking for. As it was, we could
still be playing and probably not have scored the way we were playing. Not that we played poorly; We actually played
quite well overall, but our inflexibility in attack meant that we never looked
like scoring from a passing move. In
fact, we had 3-4 good chances to score.
One was from a corner kick, one was from a 2nd ball after a
cross came in on the floor (the only cross on the floor of the whole game) and
one was from our fullback shooting from distance.
To be clear, I’m in no way saying “Bench so-and-so and put
me in.” I’m not saying that. What I’m saying is that for a player like me,
one who has a very defined and specific role, it is very disappointing and
disheartening to not be used when that very specific situation arises in a
match. I’m not even saying that I should
have come in for a winger. I could have
come on for any of the six defensive-minded we had in to deal with a
non-existent attacking threat at the end.
I would have played as a winger, but that doesn’t mean that in this
situation I had to come on for the person playing winger at the time.
All this has led me to come to a very somber conclusion that
I have no reason to doubt: the staff does not think that I have the ability to
help Haka avoid relegation. There are other
possible explanations, but that seems the most likely at the moment. It’s not like I’m the only person in the
squad in that position. I won’t names
but you can look at the roster and see the names of players who haven’t been
used and make your own conclusions. Most
likely not everyone will be used down the stretch. That’s just the nature of soccer. There are only three subs so you have to play
your best team pretty much every week to be competitive. This conclusion makes me very upset and even
angry, but I am a professional and I will be ready and willing if and when the
staff decides they need me. It might be
Wednesday at MYPA or it might not be until the final minute of the final
match. Regardless of when I get another
chance I’ll be ready, just like I was ready last night if I had been called
upon.
The last thing I’ll mention (I planned to talk about other
stuff, but this point went on much longer than I anticipated) is that I
absolutely do not think that I’m being treated unfairly or with any malice. I know that the staff is doing only what they
think gives the club the best chance to win.
I have never felt that there is anything personal keeping me off the
field or down the pecking order. If I
was the best player but the coach hated me, I would still start every
game. I think that Juha likes me in
fact, he just thought yesterday that subbing me in (or Topi, Sasa, Juuso or
Pauli) wasn’t the best way to win the game.
I obviously don’t agree with that sentiment. But Juha’s been brought in because he is a
top-level coach and has proven himself multiple times over. And no one’s ever asked me to coach a team,
so what do I know? J
This was a depressing post, so I’m gonna put up two memes
today. Try and lift the spirits a bit!
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